Get all 12 Vanessa Peters releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Modern Age, Mixtape, Foxhole Prayers, Last Night Bus (single), The Burden of Unshakeable Proof, With The Sentimentals, The Burn The Truth The Lies, The Christmas We Hoped For, and 4 more.
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1. |
All of These Years
04:19
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hair so blonde it’s nearly white
like the siding on the house that’s faded outside
the room too full of morning light
you can't crawl back in bed and cry, not ’til tonight
the warm summer sky splitting open wide
while all of the years got stuffed back inside
in a drawer labeled "black hole"
the evidence vanishes to where god knows
and the papers were signed
I’m sure that he was waving
but I don’t have that scene
available for playing
and all of these years of feeling sorry
for something
but not sure what
and some sort of half-buried truth
the smell of fermentation
and half-rotted fruit
the heavy weight of expectation
that fell on all of us
the burden of unshakeable proof
the papers were signed
I’m sure that he was waving
but I don’t have that scene
available for playing
and all these years of feeling sorry
for something
but not sure what
all of these years
I’m sorry
but not sure why
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2. |
Let's Do This
02:55
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let’s do this
pull off the screwed on top and watch the bubbles burst watch the liquid fizz and feel your heart immersed in all the crazy hiss of a thousand tiny words whispered in your ear by a thousand tiny birds who were flying oh so near
but they came a little closer they lift up their tiny wings
their humminghearts were whirring, you couldn't hear a thing
let's do this, we can fix it, we’ve only got to twist it, bend it make it fit into the box we've made for it, we've got this and we gotta try, there's nothing left but do or die, we've got to pull this off, we’ve got to pull this off
and don't even try to stop me cause I won't stand for it and I won't be slain, I am not a heart to be won, I'm not the sleeve you’re gonna wear it on, I’m not hiding out in dark caves on the outskirts of the city while it burns. I am not a script you're gonna study, I'm not a lesson to be learned.
but they came a little closer, they were flying oh so near
and you could hear a pin drop, and everything was clear
let's do this, we can fix it, we’ve only got to twist it, bend it make it fit into the box we've made for it, we've got this and we gotta try, there's nothing left but do or die, we've got to pull this off, we’ve got to pull this off
but oh what fun it was when days were long and full of sun
when knees were scraped and friends were made and then friendships came undone…
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3. |
Delicate
03:21
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delicate
some of us are warriors
and some are diplomats
some of spend all our time trying to make everyone else laugh
and some of us are unforgiving
life has made us harsh, unyielding
with sad faces twisted into wrath
but we're all strangely delicate,
fighting wars but crumbling underneath our guilt
we're all strangely delicate,
we have no weapons or defense against any of this
and some of us got tired of trying
easier to just start lying
so we found ourselves alone, without our better halves
and knees got skinned, we started crying
started contemplating dying
and stopped running, halfway down the path
but we're all strangely delicate,
breaking hearts and crumbling underneath the guilt
we're all strangely delicate,
punching walls and wondering how the hell we got into this
and all the things you can't get done
and all the things you can't undo
cause you shame....
shame shame shame shame shame
it's such a shame that we're
always assigning blame when we're all…
strangely delicate, fighting wars but crumbling underneath the guilt
we're all strangely delicate, we have no weapons or defense against any of this
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4. |
206 Bones
02:59
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206 bones
pockets full of spare keys
to houses I don't live in anymore
they weigh me down completely
but I cannot seem to let them take their leave of me
and after so long of carrying sharp words on my tongue
I've earned the right to be earnest
when you pare it down to the last few things
the last few things to get done are always the hardest
two hundred and six bones
only one heart
and when the wood house it burns down
all that's left are bolts and hinges, nails and screws
we couldn't hold it all together
when the flame, it lit the fuse
two hundred and six bones
only one heart
and lately we work all the time
to keep our hearts from getting broke
afraid of missing out
afraid of letting go
two hundred and six bones
but only one heart
with thanks to anthony f. marra, whose novel “a constellation of vital phenomena,” inspired this song.
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5. |
Change Your Disguise
03:13
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change your disguise
it’s a good thing to wear so many coats
so many hats, so many gloves
pull back the layers and change the scene
when the going gets too tough
and it’s a good thing to wear so many shoes
in case you get caught stepping on the cracks
throw the soles onto a pile
and burn them on the tracks
change your disguise
don’t be afraid to cover up your eyes
do what it takes
and step into another lie
and it’s a good thing you always travel light
it makes it that much easier to slip away
no one would recognize you now with your new face
not even in the broad light of day
so change your disguise
don’t be afraid to open up your eyes
do what it takes
and step into another lie
you were always such a pretty girl
you always turned their heads
you were always full color front page
and now you’re classified instead
and I know it’s hard to wrap yourself in black
the living shouldn’t play the dead
I know it’s hard to disappear into the crowd
and still see the road ahead
but change your disguise
don’t be afraid to look them in the eye
do what it takes
and step into another lie
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6. |
Paralysis Bug
04:02
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paralysis bug
I don't know what paralysis bug bit me
under my skin, numbed it cold
numbed my fingers and my toes
and cast a frosty glow
on my mind
paralysis bug bit me deep inside
no marks on the skin, it burrowed deep within
tunneling left and right and up and down
and freezing everything without making a sound
and I couldn't get myself up out of this chair
I couldn't even brush my hair
I couldn't do anything but stare
at the wall in front of me
paralysis bug is swift and sharp
drove its pointy teeth and claws right into my heart
and though I took the pills at the start of every day
like a good girl
and I couldn't get myself up out of this chair
I couldn't even brush my hair
I couldn't do anything but stare
at the wall in front of me
and they haven't found a cure
it's a puzzle they can't solve
they figure that it must be me
and it's a guilt they won't absolve
and I couldn't get myself up out of this chair
I couldn't make myself care
I couldn't do anything but stare
as the walls closed in on me
and I couldn't get myself up out of this chair
I couldn't even brush my hair
I couldn't do anything but stare
at the wall in front of me
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7. |
Cage
03:53
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cage
the sadness runs along underneath
a million volt wire you're afraid to touch
throbbing just below your chest bones
you think the shock would kill you
but it turns out it's just a buzz
‘cause the heart is just a muscle
hurting ‘cause it's guarding
something else that's buried deep inside
and you cannot dig your way to it
you can't tunnel that far
you can't reach out to the other side
but you come to visit me sometimes
and you rattle at the gate
and I throw rations across the lines
and we sit around and wait
for a jailer to set us free
from a cage that we create
and I see comments you left and you see the words I wrote
and we pass the chalk back and forth and sometimes you leave a note
and it's like we're in some strange suspense of past and present tense
in an on-screen world surrounded by its electric fence
but you come to visit me sometimes
you rattle at the gate
and I throw rations across the lines
and we sit around and wait
for a jailer to set us free
from a cage that we create
and I keep my eyes peeled
for the glimpse of steel
and the dagger in the woods
and I watch my back
‘cause I know that
you would stab it if you could
but you come to visit me sometimes
you wear your name tag boldly
and I, I cover mine
and we sit around and wait
for a jailer to set us free from a cage that we create
and you come to visit me sometimes
and you rattle at the gate
but I am safe here on the other side
and we sit around and wait
for a jailer to set us free
from a cage that we create
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8. |
Mending Fences
03:19
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mending fences
mending fences
while throwing wrenches
into well-oiled machines
driving horses
down well-traveled courses
never gets you what need
and I don't know when everything became impossible
don't know when everything became an obstacle
maybe I just ran out of steam
maybe I just woke up from a long long dream
and how can anyone not look about them
and not feel the world come crashing down
the strange sensation of shaking foundations
is driving us underground
and I don't know when everything became impossible
don't know when everything became an obstacle
maybe I just ran out of steam
or maybe I just woke up from a long long dream
we've come untethered
we've come undone
but still we march to battle
flags held high
we’re always fighting wars
that can't be won
but we've stopped asking why
and I don't know when everything became impossible
don't know when everything became an obstacle
maybe I just ran out of steam
maybe I just woke up from a long long dream
or maybe I am trapped inside a long long dream
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9. |
Maudlin Laundry
02:23
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maudlin laundry
you are the queen of maudlin laundry
you hang it on the line for everyone to see
but it’s still dirty
sometimes I ask myself why you are so honest
it wouldn't hurt to hide a detail or two
but you hardly ever tell the whole truth
sometimes I ask myself if you are so honest
‘cause just once I'd like to find the smoking gun
and just once I'd like to see you come undone
you've got a badge of hurt at least a mile wide
you've got a purple heart from wounded pride
you've got an ugly scar that you don’t try to hide
but just once I'd like to find the smoking gun
and just once I'd like to see you come undone
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10. |
Atmosphere
03:59
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atmosphere
the sky is always looming ready to fall straight down
there's so much of it all around me in this broken little town
and the belts have come unfastened that used to strap us in
we're falling through the black night they'll never hold us down again
‘cause we're soaring through the blue sky
we’re streaking through the air
we’re tearing through the atmosphere
as though we didn't have a care
and we always love the most in the hours before I’m gone
the dark car ride to the airport just this side of dawn
and the freshly painted lines down the newly paved road
signal you which way to go but they never point you home
and now we're soaring through the blue sky
we’re streaking through the air
we’re tearing through the atmosphere
as though we didn't have a care
and the constant parade of information marching across my screen
makes every human interaction seem mechanical and mean
but we're soaring through the blue sky
we’re streaking through the air
we’re tearing through the atmosphere
as though we didn't have a care
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Vanessa Peters Austin, Texas
Indie singer/songwriter from Texas. Musician, Italophile, Virgo, coffee nerd, food lover, bossy-pants, big ol' softie.
I've released 10+ albums and played over 1000 shows in 11 countries. I'm not done yet.
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